This morning I had a dream
just before waking up
in which my friend Ion
a horrible singer but
he knows to rock n' roll
still a good friend
was visiting Edinburgh
he had been before but
not with me so screw him
anyway he was here
because I was down so
he took me to this
old whiskey shop in the Royal
just to cheer me up and
after choosing a bottle he
went inside with a pretty
waitress to taste it together
and the workers were saying
"isn't he a happy fella?"
He really is but not me
I stood over the counter
looking nowhere and waiting
dramaqueening so
the workers handed me a note
that he gave them for me
written by her mother who
surprisingly was the writer
of A Song Of Ice And Fire
and not that fat old man
anyway her mother went
ill and died recently
only according to my dream
she wrote a letter for me
during her illness
even if she didn't know me
my friend told her about
how things were
so basically she said there
that I should try harder
everything in life
she was dying but
she kept trying everyday
to write, to live, to breath
and to be close to people
here and there
she knew that she had just
a few days left but
she kept living til the end
"just the same you should do
happens you don't want to"
she ended quoting some
old english poem that
I can barely remember
something like this
"if ye look for the sky
in a reflection in the sea
on a dark starless night
ye'll get a black moon"
Ye'll get a black moon.
My friend went all the way
just to tell me this
and I keep getting
black moons everywhere
Then I woke up.
OK come on, just one more time
There was your dream in which
we all were drowning and
somehow you set me free and
the only thing I wanted to do was
to find your dream and live it
didn't know it was a nightmare
but I lived on til today and
somehow, as usually, survived
after many years and many trips
I found it somewhere in England
a fucking meteor in flames and
I chose to burn inside as a phoenix
what I never was
never trained in Island of Death Queen
and I touched your dream
soft as a velvet button for a moment
it was the best but anyway
there never were many moments
known as 'the best' so
even if it wasn't nothing special
it worked, you know that
and let's face it
the fire died when I reached your heart
frozen as damn Atlantis
and sunk forever as well
and that cold is the only thing now
it has been for ages
but somwhere has to be the fire
at least the embers, come on
buried in the past I chose to live on
so I'll learn to like your cold
just the same I've been doing with you
all these bloody years even not
knowing why or what or who to
Fuck.
They play these old cheesy 70's rock
songs for all-time losers
on the waiting lounge at airports that
it just feels like home.
Man, I really hate Manchester.
Ok so
Here is where everybody stops reading
and I can finally tell the truth
I don't know who you are anymore
I didn't know back then
I know you are tired of being written here
I'm tired of writing you
But as you realized last weekend
Is the only thing left
I rush goodbyes to rush embraces
only time I can feel something
so it's goodbye forever for a while
like everytime we talk
you see, I don't care too much about family
I'm losing my friends
some of them I never really had
not very good meeting new people
not taking chances when there are
not really good at writing anymore
a total walking disaster
I hate to speak
I wouldn't even lick the
soles of your ragged Converse anymore
so what else is left here
can't wait til this forever ends
I'll need "for a while" soon
my eyes speak only of you
This is the real Neverending Story
That Ende didn't know shit
You fuckin' one in a million
